Judgy-Mc Judgy Face

In a world where judgment seems to be as abundant as an air freshener in a teenager's car, it's high time we reflect on the benefits of being curious rather than judgmental.

On the plus side judgment can help us with direction, ‘That looks prickly, I’m going to stay away”, “It’s going to be hot today, I better put sunscreen on.” It helps us reach quick conclusions that keep us moving and safe. It helps us reach hasty assumptions rather than deal with the cost of pondering longer. It’s a form of decision-making that shapes our lives and usually serves us well on a daily basis.

While judgment is often seen as a quick and efficient decision-making tool, it can also lead us down the path of prejudice and discrimination. It focuses on how we let a person's appearance, action, or behaviour affect our interactions with them and we usually judge on first impressions. “They look religious and I’m not so I am going to look busy”, “They look homeless, just keep staring ahead” or “They look like they have their shit together, I will talk to them.” Judged on clothing, hair, and expression, a quick top-to-toe scan and we have it all figured out. These snap assessments not only limit our understanding of others but also create harmful stereotypes.

While judgmental attitudes are about as appealing as a soggy sandwich, curiosity is the spice of life, the antidote. Instead of defaulting to our judgment skills shouldn’t we be interested and use curiosity to form a decision? Pausing to ask questions and find out more before pulling out the judgy mc-judgy face. Being curious can feel heavy and labour-intensive to some but keep it simple with a couple of questions to ask yourself before passing judgment such as “What motivates this person?”, and “What challenges have they faced.”

Stopping to consider leads to empathy, connection, and a deeper understanding of the world. Just because I have had trauma does not mean that by default, I am unstable or incapable. It does not mean that I need cotton wool.

Being judgmental has emotion attached to it, often it's prejudice and discrimination disguised as wisdom. It is fear based on insecurity and past experiences. It breeds negativity and closes doors to meaningful interactions. It’s time to get in touch with your feelings. It’s easy to pass judgmental comments without thinking about the consequences.

Curiosity leads to openness and acceptance, humility and compassion.

Judgment is assumption not truth.

Curiosity is openness and life without comparison or measurement, it’s a consideration.

Know me before you judge me.